Letting Go of Being Right | Mr Joe in Audio

In this episode of "MrJoe in Audio," Joe dives into the challenge of letting go of the need to always be right. He shares insights on why being the smartest person in the room isn't always the best approach, especially for CEOs. Joe explains how this mindset shift can lead to a more collaborative and less stressful work environment.

Joe discusses the downsides of always needing to be right, like limiting the business and burning out both yourself and your team. He stresses that opening up to other people's ideas can bring new and better solutions and make work life more enjoyable.

Throughout the episode, Joe encourages leaders to lead with curiosity instead of answers. He suggests that by asking the right questions and showing interest in different perspectives, leaders can foster a more inclusive and dynamic atmosphere.

To wrap up, Joe invites listeners to experiment with this approach in their next meetings. He believes that by letting go of the need to control every outcome, leaders can discover more effective and innovative ways to lead their teams. Joe is eager to hear from listeners about their experiences with this change, encouraging them to reach out and share their stories.

Link to the Episode Described as part of this conversation, regarding Buses and Umbrellas

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Transcript

0:02

It's one of the biggest mindset shifts I see amongst the CEOs that I work with. Is this idea of letting go of being right. So, what do I mean by that? Being right, is quite a. Luscious and very human often quite masculine way of being. So, what does that mean? That means in any given situation you are. The smartest person in the room as a CEO, you come in and you give your answer and people do what you say, and your answer is the best one. I'll often you probably found throughout your career that you are. Fighting for the answer that your energy is driving forward, people to believe in you and believe in the answer that you've gotten. No matter if you're right, maybe that matters or it doesn't matter. But the question is is you fight for the answer and fight for what your point of view to be the correct one. Now don't get me wrong and that can be a tactic that can lead to success. But it's a strategic. Weakness in you. Because ultimately you're limiting yourself and you're limiting the business. And also you're setting yourself up for a fail and for an exhausting life. So let's break it down. What's bad about being right all the time. Well, number one, it can be a battle for you, right? You're used to coming into a combative situation. You are in a room, your meetings are quite intense. Everybody's got their point of view. And there's a winner and there's often a loser. It ends up being and feeling like that. And that's exhausting for you, but it's also exhausting for others. Equally, that means it doesn't leave room for other ideas that may be as good. If not better than the ones that you've got. I mean, how how are you to absolutely know that? It's very limiting to believe that you've got all of the correct answers or, you know, the best thing to do. Now, don't get me wrong. That's different from instinct. Instinct might tell you what's good and what's not good to do. But that's different from being right and from being the smartest person in the room. Often, it means as well, nothing could happen without you, right? Your C suite team don't make choices and decisions. The business doesn't move forward without you driving it forward all the time, which means you can't take time away, which means you can't spend time on perhaps some of the more strategic elements of the business, because you are bogged down in. Dealing with the operational day-to-day because again, you need to be right in this situation. So it serves you being right and don't get me wrong. It's great for the ego to be right all the time. And he may have got you to where you are, but it's not going to guarantee future success for you. So it serves you, but it may not be serving the business. So what's the alternative. So as the leader, as a CEO, you have a great opportunity there, right? You have a spotlight you're spotlighting rather than the ideas or yourself, your spotlighting the ideas, the strategies, the approaches that are there, not you, it's less about you. It's more about the ideas and the strategies. They may be yours. There probably won't be yours in the future, but it's about putting that spotlight onto the ideas and the strategies of that business. That's the power that you bring. Equally that spotlight can also be put on to individuals, individuals who have differing point of views to you perhaps, or equally. I bring something that you don't, you can't be expected to know everything all of the time. Again, that's a limiting belief. It might have got you to where you are. But it's not going to get you somewhere in the future. Get you to a different, more exciting. More vibrant place. It simply won't do that. So you are the power. You bring us a spotlight onto ideas, onto strategies and onto individuals, not onto yourself. You're swapping answers for questions. Again, you don't have to have all of the answers. I have a video on that, which is linked here. It's more freeing to be asking the right sorts of questions and looking at curious, following curiosity than it is to have all of the answers right there, and then less pressure on you is less exhausting for you. And it leads to a broader discussion. So ultimately what you're doing is leading with curiosity, right? You're very curious about other people's points of view and what they have now. Don't get me wrong. It doesn't mean you can't be right. But doesn't mean you're always right. And you're letting go of that. ability with that feeling that you have to be right in all situations. That's simply what you're letting go of here. At the end of this, that you can be a much, much happier person, because again, all that energy that you're pushing into those. Battles those competitive situations. All that energy is dissipated into other things you're leading with curiosity. So actually you gain a lot more energy and you gain a lot more clarity from not having to simply win. So the first shift you need to make then is understanding that you need to let go of being right. Right? That's the biggest shift you need to make is letting go with this idea"well, maybe if I'm not right, what will happen? What will change?" And as I explained, in terms of the alternatives there, you can lead with lead with curiosity you lead with. Exploring other people's ideas. Play with this idea. See how it goes. Go into a meeting and don't give an opinion. Don't give a thought. Don't feel like you have to have the answer in that situation. See how the conversation unfolds. Maybe you feel like you need to give an answer. Maybe you don't, but experiment with not being right. That's the place to start. It's just trying it leading with questions. Not leading with answers. Not being attached to the outcome, being the outcome that you want it, or need it to be. Letting go of that. Going in with an open mind about what the answer might be to the situation. Now don't get me wrong. Your instinct might be telling you that this is a mistake. Again, I've got stuff and support on that. Look at this video, I've got about buses and umbrellas to help you with that. The instincts there for you to do that, but that instinct can also lead you to curiosity. How about if that instinct is telling you this is about idea going in with no, I think that's a bad idea leading with curiosity. Okay. I'm curious about this idea. Your instinct can lead you to ask the right questions to figure out if it is a good or isn't a good idea, rather than your instinct telling you immediately to stop. So use the instincts that often guides you into being right all the time, to follow your curiosity, to find an answer, ask questions, lead with curiosity, trust your instinct. But that trusting of your instinct doesn't mean you have to go in and be right. It can be extremely liberating for you and the team. And you can actually come up with something that was far better than the answer you would have given in the first place. But it takes time and a bit of faith in terms of trying something new. So try it, let go of it. Try a few meetings to see how it turns out, feel your energy afterwards. So you as exhausted as you would have been before. See how the energy in the room changes take a step back and just see how it feels to try something new. You can't suddenly do this overnight. Thank you very much for your time. I would love to hear your experiences of how this has gone for you. And if you want to talk more about it. Drop me line my email and, details of DMS are down there. I would love to hear your experiences of this. Thanks again for your time. Bye bye now.